Jennifer Newcomb Marine: “…may happy extended families one day be the norm!”
Posted in Quotes on Apr 9th, 2008
“When it comes to divorce, may happy extended families one day be the norm!” –Jennifer Newcomb Marine, No One’s the Bitch
Tag Archive 'coparenting'
Two houses, one email address
Posted in Communication, Tips on Nov 27th, 2007
Last year we set up a single email address for both of our houses. It instantly autoforwards to all of us (Kathy, G, and me) at our individual email accounts. It’s the email address we give to the kids’ schools, summer camp and extracurricular organizations, and this way we all know that everyone gets all [...]
Po Bronson: “If you are falling in love with someone who has children from a previous marriage, your partner’s ex-spouse is usually a bigger factor in the long-term success than the attitude of the children.”
Posted in Links, Parenting, Quotes, Remarriage on Nov 27th, 2007
“From my own observations, the biggest variable to the success of blending a family is the behavior and agreeability of former-spouses. If you are divorced or divorcing (with children), there is probably nothing more important for you to do than to get on good terms with your ex. If you are falling in love with [...]
One mom’s perspective: “I am not the bad guy”
Posted in Perspectives on Nov 21st, 2007
From Step-Family Talk:
“When I went to pick them up from their dad’s house last night they were all moppy and depressed to have to be going home with lame old mom. I can’t even begin to describe how that makes you feel. Honestly unless you’ve been in this situation it is just not a feeling [...]
Discipline, part 2
Posted in Books, Discipline, Parenting on Nov 20th, 2007
Parent Effectiveness Training by Thomas Gordon
(This post builds on Kathy’s original Discipline post from last weekend.)
I read stacks of books about stepfamily dynamics when my relationship with G looked like it was going to be serious, and pretty much every book I read said to take things slowly and to follow the biological parents’ lead [...]
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About us
Katherine Shirek Doughtie is the mom. She is the author of Aphrodite in Jeans: Adventure Tales about Men, Midlife and Motherhood, and also blogs at Kathy's Blog.
Jill Davis Doughtie is the stepmom. She can also be found at Pasadena Housewife, Eye Level Pasadena, and friendfeed/jilldoughtie.
More about us
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Our peeps:
G is Chris and Jack's dad and husband to Jill.
Chris is a teenager. He's Kathy and G's son, and Jill's stepson.
Jack is a tweenager (as he likes to be called). He's Kathy and G's son, and Jill's stepson.
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Recent Comments
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Archives
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Kathy's book
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Books about peacemaking and communication
If Jill could recommend only one book on building a better mom-stepmom relationship, it would be The Anatomy of Peace, and it's not even about stepfamilies. It's about helping things go right in all kinds of relationships. Related posts
People with drastically different communication styles can appear hostile to each other when they think they are signaling friendliness and consideration. That's Not What I Meant! is like the Rosetta stone. Related posts
One of the key ideas in this book is no one's needs in a relationship can be sacrificed. Not our own, and not anyone else’s. This book is about identifying and communicating feelings and needs in ways that are easier to hear, and it's about listening through difficult conversations for the feelings and needs others are trying to communicate. Related posts -
Books about co-parenting
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Books about stepparenting
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Parenting books
The Parent Effectiveness Training book is our parenting bible. It's a guide to parenting with respect, consideration for everyone's needs, and without manipulation. It has probably also informed our relationship with each other. Do we always follow it perfectly? No, but we try. Related posts
How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk is a great to read alongside the P.E.T. book above. The conversational techniques it teaches dovetail with the P.E.T. approach.
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Stories about stepfamily life, life after divorce, and starting over
My Father Married Your Mother is collection of essays about real life stepfamily experiences by authors including Barbara Kingsolver, Sandra Tsing Loh, Jacquelyn Mitchard, Susan Cheever, and more. Related posts
Elizabeth Gilbert was recently divorced and miserable when she decided she wanted to travel around the world for a year, focusing on pleasure in Italy, devotion in India, and balance in Bali, and then write a book about it. She’s believable, she’s loveable, and she’s larger than life but not intimidating. She’s like a best friend or a sister calling that the water’s warm, the world is wild, and happiness after heartbreak is possible — even better than before. Related posts -
Books for working through difficult times
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On the lighter side
If you're looking for a lighter treatment of divorce and remarriage, look no further. Zsa Zsa Gabor is your woman. Even though it's mostly funny and over the top, there are some nuggets of wisdom in this book. And some joy and love and affection. Related posts -
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Blended family, single parent and co-parenting blogs
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