Comments on: The transaction ends here http://www.thedhx.com/2008/04/09/the-transaction-ends-here/ A mom and a stepmom share stories, ideas, friendship and family Fri, 25 Jul 2008 05:30:46 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: Jennifer (Et Tu?) http://www.thedhx.com/2008/04/09/the-transaction-ends-here/#comment-1100 Jennifer (Et Tu?) Thu, 10 Apr 2008 12:08:55 +0000 http://www.thedhx.com/?p=536#comment-1100 "Bonding with the kids is important, but it’s different from providing for them and caring for them. I don’t think it’s fair to the kids or to the relationship to link the two things together to the point that they depend on each other and affect each other." That is so true, and so important. What a great insight. Thanks for sharing. “Bonding with the kids is important, but it’s different from providing for them and caring for them. I don’t think it’s fair to the kids or to the relationship to link the two things together to the point that they depend on each other and affect each other.”

That is so true, and so important. What a great insight. Thanks for sharing.

]]> By: Natalie http://www.thedhx.com/2008/04/09/the-transaction-ends-here/#comment-1099 Natalie Thu, 10 Apr 2008 01:50:21 +0000 http://www.thedhx.com/?p=536#comment-1099 Interesting post, Jill. I've talked with my sister a lot about this (she was a SM before she was a BM). Interesting post, Jill. I’ve talked with my sister a lot about this (she was a SM before she was a BM).

]]> By: Morocco http://www.thedhx.com/2008/04/09/the-transaction-ends-here/#comment-1098 Morocco Thu, 10 Apr 2008 00:36:02 +0000 http://www.thedhx.com/?p=536#comment-1098 Well said. I have been working on this, too. It has been a challenge for me because sometimes I can be quite sensitive when it comes to my stepsons and their actions (or lack of) toward me. I think that it creates a burden for the giver also when they expect something in return. And of course, you are disappointed when you don't receive your perceived "whatever" it was you were seeking. It helps me when I stand in their shoes for a moment, which allows me to observe things from different angles. We are the adults and must act as such. Not to mention, I love how you pointed out that there is indeed a difference between bonding and providing/caring for the children. Sometimes I feel I confuse the two. But the bottom line is that I do love my stepsons; I guess I just want to be loved in return--which hopefully will come in due time. But who knows, they might already! Well said. I have been working on this, too. It has been a challenge for me because sometimes I can be quite sensitive when it comes to my stepsons and their actions (or lack of) toward me. I think that it creates a burden for the giver also when they expect something in return. And of course, you are disappointed when you don’t receive your perceived “whatever” it was you were seeking.

It helps me when I stand in their shoes for a moment, which allows me to observe things from different angles. We are the adults and must act as such.

Not to mention, I love how you pointed out that there is indeed a difference between bonding and providing/caring for the children. Sometimes I feel I confuse the two. But the bottom line is that I do love my stepsons; I guess I just want to be loved in return–which hopefully will come in due time. But who knows, they might already!

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