Comments on: Wanting what’s best for the kids http://www.thedhx.com/2008/04/05/wanting-what-is-best-for-the-kids/ A mom and a stepmom share stories, ideas, friendship and family Sun, 07 Sep 2008 10:43:48 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: Shannon http://www.thedhx.com/2008/04/05/wanting-what-is-best-for-the-kids/#comment-1133 Shannon Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:35:47 +0000 http://www.thedhx.com/?p=531#comment-1133 This entry really inspired me! I hope and pray that one day, my stepdaughters mother and I can attain a relationship similar to yours. This entry really inspired me! I hope and pray that one day, my stepdaughters mother and I can attain a relationship similar to yours.

]]> By: Natalie http://www.thedhx.com/2008/04/05/wanting-what-is-best-for-the-kids/#comment-1082 Natalie Mon, 07 Apr 2008 14:41:10 +0000 http://www.thedhx.com/?p=531#comment-1082 We didn't have trouble with it when we were married. It's been since the kids have started getting older. XH still wants to rule with an iron fist whenever he's around the kids. I think it has to do with him and his wife still having really young kids at their house (their kids are 6, 5 and 3, I think) and he's not familiar with raising teens. He's not very involved with the kids' lives and doesn't know what to do with them besides try to scare them into submission - which may work in the military, but not so well with teenagers and tweens. I'm not sure yet how to to get to common ground with him or if we'll even be able to. Maybe one day. . . We didn’t have trouble with it when we were married. It’s been since the kids have started getting older. XH still wants to rule with an iron fist whenever he’s around the kids. I think it has to do with him and his wife still having really young kids at their house (their kids are 6, 5 and 3, I think) and he’s not familiar with raising teens. He’s not very involved with the kids’ lives and doesn’t know what to do with them besides try to scare them into submission - which may work in the military, but not so well with teenagers and tweens.

I’m not sure yet how to to get to common ground with him or if we’ll even be able to. Maybe one day. . .

]]> By: Jill http://www.thedhx.com/2008/04/05/wanting-what-is-best-for-the-kids/#comment-1081 Jill Mon, 07 Apr 2008 13:07:19 +0000 http://www.thedhx.com/?p=531#comment-1081 Discipline! I didn't think of that and that's a really good one. Discipline! I didn’t think of that and that’s a really good one.

]]> By: Natalie http://www.thedhx.com/2008/04/05/wanting-what-is-best-for-the-kids/#comment-1079 Natalie Mon, 07 Apr 2008 00:55:20 +0000 http://www.thedhx.com/?p=531#comment-1079 This is a great post, Jill. What I've realized is that I really have it easy as far as things on the list you posted go. XH doesn't take issue with any of those things or how they are currently being handled. What we tend to have conflict about is discipline. We have completely different styles. I talk things out and want to help the kids make good choices. XH is like a drill sergeant. This is a great post, Jill. What I’ve realized is that I really have it easy as far as things on the list you posted go. XH doesn’t take issue with any of those things or how they are currently being handled. What we tend to have conflict about is discipline. We have completely different styles. I talk things out and want to help the kids make good choices. XH is like a drill sergeant.

]]> By: -d http://www.thedhx.com/2008/04/05/wanting-what-is-best-for-the-kids/#comment-1078 -d Sun, 06 Apr 2008 20:18:19 +0000 http://www.thedhx.com/?p=531#comment-1078 My mother once gave me excellent advice. She said that the hardest thing about being married was that each of you come from different backgrounds and homes with different memories. If you listen closely to each other, you'll learn what memories and backgrounds are important and which ones aren't. If you talk openly and listen openly, you'll never doubt where the other stands. The key is to respect that the other person has a valid opinion and find the middle ground. I think in divorce situations, the above advise is still true. It's the respecting part that is harder. -d My mother once gave me excellent advice. She said that the hardest thing about being married was that each of you come from different backgrounds and homes with different memories. If you listen closely to each other, you’ll learn what memories and backgrounds are important and which ones aren’t. If you talk openly and listen openly, you’ll never doubt where the other stands. The key is to respect that the other person has a valid opinion and find the middle ground.

I think in divorce situations, the above advise is still true. It’s the respecting part that is harder.
-d

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