Sonja Lyubomirsky: “‘forgive and forget’ is a misnomer…”
Mar 7th, 2008 by Jill
“Forgiveness . . . does not necessarily involve the reestablishment of the relationship with the transgressor. . . . Forgiveness does not mean excusing . . . or a denial of harm . . . or an unwillingness to accept what has occurred. . . . ['F]orgive and forget’ is a misnomer, inasmuch as forgiving does not involve a decaying of memory for the hurt. Indeed, truly forgiving someone involves contemplating the injury at some length while forgetting the injury would make that process rather difficult.“How, then, do you know if you’ve forgiven someone? It’s when you have experienced a shift in thinking, such that your desire to harm that person has decreased and your desire to do him good . . . has increased. . . .”
— Sonja Lyubomirsky, The How of Happiness
