Comments on: Connected http://www.thedhx.com/2008/02/05/our-welfare-is-connected/ A mom and a stepmom share stories, ideas, friendship and family Thu, 28 Aug 2008 04:27:49 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: Jill http://www.thedhx.com/2008/02/05/our-welfare-is-connected/#comment-698 Jill Thu, 07 Feb 2008 19:33:19 +0000 http://www.thedhx.com/2008/02/05/our-welfare-is-connected/#comment-698 Any day! ;) Any day! ;)

]]> By: Izzy Rose http://www.thedhx.com/2008/02/05/our-welfare-is-connected/#comment-697 Izzy Rose Thu, 07 Feb 2008 18:02:54 +0000 http://www.thedhx.com/2008/02/05/our-welfare-is-connected/#comment-697 Very sweet. Sometimes its' the most simple explanations that make it all make sense. That said, your house sounds comfy and nice. Can I come live there? IR Very sweet. Sometimes its’ the most simple explanations that make it all make sense.

That said, your house sounds comfy and nice. Can I come live there?

IR

]]> By: Laurie from divorcingdaze http://www.thedhx.com/2008/02/05/our-welfare-is-connected/#comment-695 Laurie from divorcingdaze Wed, 06 Feb 2008 09:07:39 +0000 http://www.thedhx.com/2008/02/05/our-welfare-is-connected/#comment-695 I love you, too, Jill! And this blog. Ya' know, it has crossed my mind to "interview" X on the podcast. I don't think he'd go along....at least not now. Perspective is so interesting and so powerful. X 's perspective is that I *am* trashing him. (and worse) He is dumping a lot of $$ into that perspective with attorneys. (Which makes me *want* to trash him!) And Kathy's book is on my list! I love you, too, Jill! And this blog. Ya’ know, it has crossed my mind to “interview” X on the podcast. I don’t think he’d go along….at least not now. Perspective is so interesting and so powerful. X ’s perspective is that I *am* trashing him. (and worse) He is dumping a lot of $$ into that perspective with attorneys. (Which makes me *want* to trash him!) And Kathy’s book is on my list!

]]> By: Jill http://www.thedhx.com/2008/02/05/our-welfare-is-connected/#comment-694 Jill Wed, 06 Feb 2008 03:09:57 +0000 http://www.thedhx.com/2008/02/05/our-welfare-is-connected/#comment-694 [to Laurie again] The thing is, you can't give up what you need in this system to make other people happy -- because then you're adding hurt to the system. You can't hurt yourself to make it work. The super tricky hard part that's always a challenge is figuring out how to work together so everybody's needs get met as much as possible. Nobody -- including you -- can be sacrificed. I wonder what your kids' dad really needs or craves? Maybe to have his side of the story heard and understood? Maybe more privacy? Maybe he feels like his identity is out of his control? Does he feel humiliated? There must be a way to address his concerns while also doing what you need to do. [to Laurie again] The thing is, you can’t give up what you need in this system to make other people happy — because then you’re adding hurt to the system. You can’t hurt yourself to make it work. The super tricky hard part that’s always a challenge is figuring out how to work together so everybody’s needs get met as much as possible. Nobody — including you — can be sacrificed. I wonder what your kids’ dad really needs or craves? Maybe to have his side of the story heard and understood? Maybe more privacy? Maybe he feels like his identity is out of his control? Does he feel humiliated? There must be a way to address his concerns while also doing what you need to do.

]]> By: -d http://www.thedhx.com/2008/02/05/our-welfare-is-connected/#comment-693 -d Wed, 06 Feb 2008 03:07:22 +0000 http://www.thedhx.com/2008/02/05/our-welfare-is-connected/#comment-693 I fight that mentality all the time. Seperate lives requires the kids to seperate their own lives into parts. This model is wonderful and I love it! -d I fight that mentality all the time. Seperate lives requires the kids to seperate their own lives into parts. This model is wonderful and I love it!
-d

]]> By: Jill http://www.thedhx.com/2008/02/05/our-welfare-is-connected/#comment-692 Jill Wed, 06 Feb 2008 03:02:52 +0000 http://www.thedhx.com/2008/02/05/our-welfare-is-connected/#comment-692 I think the thing to do is to keep the past -- keep all our archives -- and add to them. As we understand more, add that new understanding to what we publish. I wish I'd done that with my past blogs. I think the thing to do is to keep the past — keep all our archives — and add to them. As we understand more, add that new understanding to what we publish. I wish I’d done that with my past blogs.

]]> By: Jill http://www.thedhx.com/2008/02/05/our-welfare-is-connected/#comment-691 Jill Wed, 06 Feb 2008 02:58:38 +0000 http://www.thedhx.com/2008/02/05/our-welfare-is-connected/#comment-691 No, I don't. If you read Kathy's book, it's not all positive about G, but here we are promoting on this blog. (With G's blessing.) Your perspective is your perspective. You aren't trashing your kids' dad. You aren't calling him names. You're talking about things that happened and how you interpreted them. One of the reasons I love your podcast so much is that you're so conscious all the time that you see only your own part of the picture, and you're always curious and willing to consider other ideas. This might be too much to think about doing, but you miiiiiiight consider offering him a voice on the podcast -- offering to include a soundclip he wants to record, or offering to include his point of view. That would be so mind-blowingly awesome. The thing is, I love you! (If that's not too hokey to say never having met and all.) I know you're not perfect because I've never met anyone who was -- and there's nothing your kids' dad could say that would make me feel differently. We all have dark sides. No dark side -- no other perspective or interpretation of the past or present -- can cancel out the beautiful you that is you. I bet you I'd like X, too, but it wouldn't come out of how much I totally dig you. I love your voice -- and I'm not talking about the way it sounds, although you have a great voice. I love the light you bring to the internet. No, I don’t. If you read Kathy’s book, it’s not all positive about G, but here we are promoting on this blog. (With G’s blessing.) Your perspective is your perspective. You aren’t trashing your kids’ dad. You aren’t calling him names. You’re talking about things that happened and how you interpreted them. One of the reasons I love your podcast so much is that you’re so conscious all the time that you see only your own part of the picture, and you’re always curious and willing to consider other ideas. This might be too much to think about doing, but you miiiiiiight consider offering him a voice on the podcast — offering to include a soundclip he wants to record, or offering to include his point of view. That would be so mind-blowingly awesome. The thing is, I love you! (If that’s not too hokey to say never having met and all.) I know you’re not perfect because I’ve never met anyone who was — and there’s nothing your kids’ dad could say that would make me feel differently. We all have dark sides. No dark side — no other perspective or interpretation of the past or present — can cancel out the beautiful you that is you. I bet you I’d like X, too, but it wouldn’t come out of how much I totally dig you. I love your voice — and I’m not talking about the way it sounds, although you have a great voice. I love the light you bring to the internet.

]]> By: Laurie from divorcingdaze http://www.thedhx.com/2008/02/05/our-welfare-is-connected/#comment-690 Laurie from divorcingdaze Wed, 06 Feb 2008 02:43:54 +0000 http://www.thedhx.com/2008/02/05/our-welfare-is-connected/#comment-690 Interesting and true concept. Given this conceit, do you think I should take down the podcasts? Interesting and true concept. Given this conceit, do you think I should take down the podcasts?

]]> By: Jill http://www.thedhx.com/2008/02/05/our-welfare-is-connected/#comment-689 Jill Wed, 06 Feb 2008 02:06:14 +0000 http://www.thedhx.com/2008/02/05/our-welfare-is-connected/#comment-689 Sure!!! Sure!!!

]]> By: A New Beginning http://www.thedhx.com/2008/02/05/our-welfare-is-connected/#comment-688 A New Beginning Tue, 05 Feb 2008 23:12:27 +0000 http://www.thedhx.com/2008/02/05/our-welfare-is-connected/#comment-688 I L.O.V.E. the visual aides. It was a perfect way to explain the way it all "flows." If you don't mind, I would love to copy the pictures to have for future reference. I L.O.V.E. the visual aides. It was a perfect way to explain the way it all “flows.” If you don’t mind, I would love to copy the pictures to have for future reference.

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