Comments on: An open discussion about safe, anonymous blogging

By: Chelly

Chelly — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 10:00:42 +0000

I have never blogged annonymous, I never though I would need to. Until this year. I knew the BM had the website, I just knew that for years she never once went to it, so I thought I would be safe to use the webspace I pay for for my own personal thoughts and such. Well, that all changed when BM, when she came for her first in 5 years visit. She basically told me she has been reading my blog. It had it’s use, in the fact that she wanted to prove every word I wrote wrong to the point she behaved…. in public. But she reverted back to the mean hearted when the kids were alone with her. The oldest commented that he only went to her hotel out of respect to her, but hated how she was, how she would talk bad about us, etc.

After that little tid bit, I wanted to crawl under a rock. There went my personal space. Then I realized, she would win if I stopped blogging, I would blow a gasket if I stopped blogging. So, instead of dropping from the internet, I moved my site around. I put my personal section behind the scenes. Is it easy to find? Probably if you know me. Will she find it again, she probably has. And she is probably boiling at things I have writen since moving it. But me not knowing for a fact she is reading, I still feel safe to rant about her in my blog, even though it is open to the public.

By: Heidi

Heidi — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 22:52:22 +0000

Very well written! And I like what you said. I am currently an annonymous blogger in that I don’t want to give out the names of my family members. Most of my family members know about my blog and occasionally visit, but I honestly feel that someday if my stepson were to encounter my blog, he may be hurt, but I think he would know that I am such an honest person anyway, anything I blog I would tell him to his face (when he was at an age where he would understand). I know from our relationship that I will be telling most of our stories (good and bad) over and over again. Thanks for the links.

By: StepMomma

StepMomma — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 14:26:59 +0000

I blog both ways. One blog that is fairly anonymous and another that my friends and family have access to.

By: Aunt Pillowhead

Aunt Pillowhead — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 21:47:25 +0000

Hi Jill,
I blog anonymously because I talk a lot about the kids, and detail not only their personality traits, but also events in their lives. If I had to sanitize my entries out of respect for their privacy, the blogging wouldn’t serve its multiple purpose for me:
1. Safe outlet where I can actually say what I’m thinking and feeling in my own words, in my own way
2. Healing process of rumination & study
3. Self-fabricated comfort and entertainment, like an invisible friend

There are also some honest, angry, and not-so-admiring words about the bio mom on my blog, and if my blog weren’t anonymous, it would be damaging for the kids to come across that. I spend half my time (which is how often the kids are with us) in diplomatic censure, often not saying what I really think and often hiding my feelings about the things that challenge me that I know are sensitive to them. I need a place where I can let my hair down and say what I want, in the words I want to use, and then come to my own mature and constructive conclusions at the end of it. Or not.

I do enough things for other people. My blog is for ME, in all my petty, vindictive, selfish, cruel (and anonymous!) glory!!!

By: Jill

Jill — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 05:44:27 +0000

Hi Joy, it is great to see you here! I will look for that article. I don’t think you’re “Overly Paranoid” — I want to read that article. It sounds interesting.

By: A New Beginning

A New Beginning — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 04:05:45 +0000

I really enjoyed you post. I originally started to blog anonnomously but have faultered quite a bit. Now I mainly try to keep myself failr anonnomous and use mostly first names. I do have family who read my blog and many “online family” who do as well. There are certain people I would prefer not to find my blog but on the off chance it happens, I try to make sure that anything I post is true or stated as my opinion. I try to be as objective as I can but many times I get fired up. Can’t live life afraid of people not liking you, I guess. I just don’t advertise myself.

By: joy

joy — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 02:41:37 +0000

In addition to the more obvious risks of blogging, there are also some more subtle insidious ones. If you take a look at this month’s (February) Wired magazine, pages 132-133, it shows some of the potential vulnerabilities of blogging (through mechanisms like data miners, text scrapers, spam blogs, and who knows what else coming down the pike). These things aren’t all necessarily “bad,” but I can envision scenarios where some of these mechanisms could result in undesirable consequences. But maybe I’m just Overly Paranoid?

By: Natalie

Natalie — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 02:25:25 +0000

I don’t blog anonymously. Real life friends and family know where to find my blog. I started out blogging anonymously, but I find that I do better with my real name attached - what you said about not telling other people’s stories struck a chord with me. That’s one thing I sometimes struggle.

I don’t use my last name or publish my hometown at this point, although those that I have sent email to will know my last name. My parents still caution against things like that, as I am, you know, a “single mom with children living alone!” Don’t want any strangers tracking us down. Oh the horrors!

I don’t publish my children’s names, although I do post their ages and sometimes a photo of them. I’m not past the phobia about that one yet. I also don’t post names of other non-blogging family members/ex-family members or co-workers.

It will be interesting to see responses from others. I’ll be checking back.

By: clevergirl

clevergirl — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 01:27:38 +0000

Interesting sites - definitely things to think about. I started out with intent to blog anonymously, but think I could have done a better job if I had thought about it more seriously right from the beginning.

I have since went back through and changed things like a different email and blocking search engines. I don’t give out my blog info, even to friends. I don’t use this identity anywhere but for blogging purposes only. And I’m definitely seriously considering going back and editing out things like locations and references to my job.