Comments on: Links for Friday, January 18 — updated

By: Little Wren

Little Wren — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 00:48:21 +0000

Hi Izzy,
Although Lori deleted the post, Google picked it up, so a cache of the original can still be found if you search “The Internets”. I don’t want to fan the flames by posting a link to the cached version, but it’s still out there.

I wish everyone a peaceful Sunday evening. Take good care.

By: Izzy Rose

Izzy Rose — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 18:02:20 +0000

I’m sort of late to the discussion. I’d love to read the original post. Any way to make this possible? I want to weigh in, but I think I’m only seeing half the story here.

By: Jill

Jill — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 08:14:34 +0000

I like that word, heart-kids, too. It gave me a little thrill of pleasure when I read it.

By: Stepmama-Drama

Stepmama-Drama — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 07:56:10 +0000

I just wanted to say that I hope at some point this settles down. I feel like there is a distraction in the air that takes away from our purpose as bloggers. I am uncomfortable that other will judge my writing and that worries me because I need this little corner of the world to vent and release my fears. I just want to blog and find a support system that will help me, on a personal level, discover how I can best serve my stepkids. Or as one blogger so sweetly put it, my heart-kids.

By: K10ish

K10ish — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 03:19:40 +0000

Lori - Morals and values - basic societal norms. I found your post a bit assuming; that step mom’s don’t get it. That they selfish; negating the best interest of the child/ren. Step mom’s are not always the bad guys and neither are the Bio mom’s. Classic example of reading, perhaps unintentionally, blogs from those that need a support group and vent to those that relate. Have you read any of the Bio mom blogs about how the step mom is such a bad influence. Is this not all one sided perspective? Lets be fair - every single situation is different and until we walk in those shoes, lets not be so presumptuous. It is the seed of judgement.

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 02:59:25 +0000

Yes, there is a lot of negativity out there. Because many of us are dealing with incredibly negative situations with regard to our stepchildren. Many of us have to deal with an ex-wife that is unstable and treats her children and her ex-husband horribly. Many of us have spent every single resource we have trying to improve things, only to be put through the wringer one more time by someone filled with venom.

Negativity isn’t prevailing without accountability. Our blogs are a way to vent our feelings about situations in which we are often powerless to affect change. And we don’t need to be accountable to someone for our feelings. That’s the beauty of blogging. If you don’t like the negativity, don’t read.

But we love these children that have become part of our lives and it’s incredibly painful to watch someone else that should treat them like the gems they are treat them terribly. Do you watch stories about child abuse on the news? Does it make you angry for the children? Angry at those children’s parents? It’s the same for us.

And Lori didn’t so much make waves as she did just attack people, plain and simple. Lori has no concept of what the people she attacked go through on a daily basis. Lori has not walked a mile in their shoes. Good for Lori if she has a wonderful situation with the Biological Mom in her life. We’re not all so lucky. In many of our cases, the Bio-Mom isn’t just a mean person, but is mentally ill, refuses treatment, and makes everyone’s lives a living hell.

There is no reason that we can’t all post about that and seek support for those situations. None of us are showing the kids the blogs, and none of us are slandering anyone either. Certainly none of us come to sites where it’s all sweetness and light and beat you all over the head for having situations different than ours.

But none of the above is the worst problem with Lori’s post. The worst problem is that Lori advertises herself as a Christian, judges people extremely harshly, and points her finger directly and purposefully, without even making an effort to understand their situations. Good job, Lori. Imagine what response Jesus might have gotten from the woman at the well if He had just approached her with “You’re such a slut.”

Yeah, not the best way to make sure folks out there understand that Christians are loving people, with a loving God. Certainly not the way MY church handles things. And turning off comments if you can’t take the heat? Not so great either.

By: simplicity

simplicity — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 01:11:45 +0000

Hi Jill,
Lori’s post sure made waves out there didn’t it?

It’s hard, because there is a lot of negativity…and I’m sure many of them are in the thick of hard times and conflict where they don’t see eye to eye…I get that…but it’s hard to watch the negativity prevail without any accountability..