Comments on: Different perspectives http://www.thedhx.com/2008/01/11/perspectives/ A mom and a stepmom share stories, ideas, friendship and family Thu, 04 Dec 2008 02:03:24 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: Jill http://www.thedhx.com/2008/01/11/perspectives/#comment-569 Jill Tue, 15 Jan 2008 05:14:51 +0000 http://www.thedhx.com/2008/01/11/perspectives/#comment-569 That completely makes sense. That completely makes sense.

]]> By: simplicity http://www.thedhx.com/2008/01/11/perspectives/#comment-560 simplicity Mon, 14 Jan 2008 14:38:24 +0000 http://www.thedhx.com/2008/01/11/perspectives/#comment-560 This makes total sense but I'd never thought of it (or realized it) quite like that. I have at times wanted J to see his ex the way I do, fun to talk to, friendly, funny...and I at times have wanted his ex to see J the way I see him, loving, kind, good dad...but the truth of the matter is if they really saw each other the way I see them both they'd probably never have gotten divorced. They have a history that has created the view that they each see each other through, and even though we all grow and change and make the most of our relationship, they will both see each other differently than I see them and they both probably have different perceptions of me. To J, I'm his wife. To his ex, I'm her friend. Am I babbling or does that make sense? This makes total sense but I’d never thought of it (or realized it) quite like that.

I have at times wanted J to see his ex the way I do, fun to talk to, friendly, funny…and I at times have wanted his ex to see J the way I see him, loving, kind, good dad…but the truth of the matter is if they really saw each other the way I see them both they’d probably never have gotten divorced. They have a history that has created the view that they each see each other through, and even though we all grow and change and make the most of our relationship, they will both see each other differently than I see them and they both probably have different perceptions of me. To J, I’m his wife. To his ex, I’m her friend.

Am I babbling or does that make sense?

]]> By: Natalie http://www.thedhx.com/2008/01/11/perspectives/#comment-556 Natalie Sun, 13 Jan 2008 15:16:01 +0000 http://www.thedhx.com/2008/01/11/perspectives/#comment-556 When I decided to look at positive things about XH and his wife after my divorce (when I was exhausted from the anger and hurt), I was able to change my perception of them. I went from seeing them as the enemy to seeing them as people who make mistakes and who are trying to do their best each day - just like me. That was the beginning of healing for me. The collage analogy makes a lot of sense. When I decided to look at positive things about XH and his wife after my divorce (when I was exhausted from the anger and hurt), I was able to change my perception of them. I went from seeing them as the enemy to seeing them as people who make mistakes and who are trying to do their best each day - just like me. That was the beginning of healing for me. The collage analogy makes a lot of sense.

]]> By: Mom http://www.thedhx.com/2008/01/11/perspectives/#comment-552 Mom Sat, 12 Jan 2008 19:31:42 +0000 http://www.thedhx.com/2008/01/11/perspectives/#comment-552 I love to be able to say that I continue to learn from you, Jill I love to be able to say that I continue to learn from you, Jill

]]> By: Laurie from divorcingdaze http://www.thedhx.com/2008/01/11/perspectives/#comment-551 Laurie from divorcingdaze Sat, 12 Jan 2008 18:33:59 +0000 http://www.thedhx.com/2008/01/11/perspectives/#comment-551 I think the Hockney photo collage is a great analogy, Jill. X and I have completely different versions of our marriage and our divorce. One person's reality is only that.... I think the Hockney photo collage is a great analogy, Jill. X and I have completely different versions of our marriage and our divorce. One person’s reality is only that….

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