Embracing the connection
Dec 20th, 2007 by Jill
At first it’s like two straight men waking up one morning to find their hands superglued to each other’s balls.
You’re intimately connected in places that feel downright wrong to be connected. She’s connected to your guy and you’re connected to her children in ways that feel fantastically uncomfortable at a gut level.
And you’re surprised. You didn’t expect anywhere near this much entwinement.
You freak out and jerk around, but pretty soon you realize you’re stuck. Your brain takes over, you find a way to calm the animal part of yourself down, stop hurting each other, find a way to coordinate movements and figure out together what to do next.
Later, it’s like being sisters — the kind who still share a room and argue, but who also lay awake at night after the lights are out, talking and telling secrets.
And then you realize, “Who would I be if this had never happened? I would be smaller, I would not have learned how handle these sorts of difficult situations, I would be weaker and living a more impoverished, confined life. But not only that, I would be lonelier.” And then you realize that it’s the best thing that’s happened to you this decade. Maybe one of the best things ever.
I love this website, and admire you both for basing your friendship on what you have in common–the kids’ best interest.
Thank you, Jill, for your holiday wishes. I’ll think of you as I’m riding up the chair!
Ha! Dig the imagery of your first sentence…. And then, can totally relate to the rest of your post - those strange, visceral sensations; that “how did I get here?” feeling.
Love your writing. Love your perspective. Love the leaps you make as a human being. Inspiring stuff! Keep on writing….